Extreme Marriage Makeover Weekend

This weekend my wife and I worked as marriage mentors for what is called the Extreme Marriage Makeover Weekend. This is a weekend hosted by the Iowa Family Policy Center's Marriage Matters department. The focus of this weekend is to invite married couples who are facing, and even intending divorce.
Actually, as a last minute switch, Jonda and I didn't actually mentor an individual couple but served as the "pastor on site" for the week. We worked to debrief the mentors and also as spiritual guides for each of the couples. We met with each couple after their mentor session to highlight what they were learning and experiencing. We also spent special time teaching the couples how to focus on including God in their marriages. We taught them how to pray for and with each other.
There were four things I learned from this weekend. These are four ingredients that led to the demise of the marriage.
1. These folks were normal people. Not one of them had any kind of wild and crazy event that forced them to this stage in life. Every one of them were going through life just as anyone else does and found themselves facing this kind of difficulty.
2. These folks had simply forgotten how to have fun together. A common thread among all of them was that they don't date anymore. Why do married folks feel like they don't need to date anymore? Why do they feel like after the wedding there is no more need to learn about the other person?
3. These folks had all forgotten how to communicate. Each of these couples felt as if their marriage problem was unique but we were able to quickly reduce the big problems to another common thread, the inability or the unwillingness to communicate.
4. Divorce was not the only answer. There were a few couples who had already filed for divorce. In fact one couple should have had their divorce finalized some time ago but their attorney asked them to go through this weekend. Lets just say they thought they were over but after taking some time to put things back into perspective they are moving back in with each other and making a go of it.

Why do so many folks default to the idea that when the going gets tough the tough get a divorce? I learned very clearly that folks can save their marriage if they are willing.